sexta-feira, 16 de março de 2012

I was the last one standing, and then I left you.

And I was here all along, listening to him brag about how he was better than us all, listening to him tell me how much he loved her, listening to him tell me how much he hated her.
I was here, but now I´m leaving. And I know for a fact that he won’t follow. He’s got this thing about him, where anyone else doesn’t matter and I’m just tired of that.
I know I´m supposed to stick around, I am his best friend and all. But really, does he even listen to himself sometimes?
I wonder if he realizes why she left him. It’s quite obvious to me. And yet he is as blind as a little baby.
He has never hated her, he is just saying that. He forgets he’s talking about my friend too, and someone I know just as well as he does. Although, I begin to think that for all this love he supposedly felt for her, if he did actually know her at all. How could he possibly not see that her moving had nothing to do with him? There’s a whole world outside of this place and she just wanted to see it. He should be supportive of that. He should want to see it with her or at least tell her to follow her dreams. Not tell her she is a fool and that her place is behind him.
He actually used the world behind. As if he was some sort of superior being who could be in front while she stayed in the shadows, doing everything he asked of her. That had never been her.
Unfortunately, that was becoming me. And I wasn’t going to let that happen. So before that happened, and before I could let him turn me into some nineteenth century proper lady, I left too.
I wonder how long it will take him to realize he is wrong, or that I also left. He probably will not. I´m not fit into his fantasy of perfection. He didn´t even love me like he loved her and yet we became this. And stupid me, I stayed for way longer that I should have.
I know him, I knew what was expecting me. History was repeating itself and before I knew he was going to place me at the spot she left. A spot I never wanted. I spot I don´t want. I spot I dread.
So, good bye, my friend. I promised I’d never leave you but the truth is… how can I be leaving you when you never actually cared enough to notice? I hope you grow now that I´m gone. I hope you realize you’re wrong. I hope you realize you still love her or that you finally admit that you are not the only and most important of beings. I´ll miss you, there were some fun moments at least.

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